my story

 

I have suffered through many trials in my life, neglect, abuse, abandonment, anorexia, disappointment, separation from loved ones, control issues, a family torn apart because of my father’s Bipolar disorder, depression and anxiety, loss, bitterness, and attempted suicide in my teens, to name a few.

BUT GOD . . .

In His infinite wisdom, has lifted me from my desolate place and has set my feet on The ROCK, solid ground! God has shown me in the last 8 years that He is my strength, my portion, and my deliverer. He is the song in my heart and the LORD of my dance! Everything that was taken from me in the past by the schemes of satan, have been restored unto me by the very hand of my God! My lack of faith has turned me to my CHAMPION, the God of the universe that holds my world in His hands.

My doubt in His power has been replaced with a confidence like none other. The lack of self-esteem I have held onto for most of my life has been changed for the better . . . like ashes, into beauty. My sorrow in times of great emotional and physical need has been replaced by the joy found only in my Savior Jesus Christ! The abandonment and abuse, caused by my earthly father, has been substituted with my heavenly Father’s perfect expression of love and security. My need for and therefore dependency on people, has been stripped from me by my wise God and I have been built up by His Word, teaching me to only find my source of acceptance in Him. The feelings of guilt and shame that I struggled with for so long have been knocked out. He daily strengthens me in His ever-present mercy and grace. In My Immanuel, I am able to breathe, to sit back, recognize His glory and yes, just breathe.

I was never in control, even when I thought life’s stability depended on me. God, the one who spoke my kind, and every kind of living and non-living thing into existence, held me as His baby girl every one of those wacked out days. The deception I lived under has been replaced with an honesty that still seems unreal . . . or more so too good to be true. But it is . . . it is true.

My Jesus is truth and His love is my hope. It was proven to me in His death for me. His resurrection proved Him as God and I am an heir to His throne! My life was once stricken

BUT GOD . . .

In His supreme sovereignty did not leave me in my tears but wiped them away with His nail scarred hands, set me on His lap until I could trust Him, and now is leading me in His promises for my good and His glory.

I have suffered, a lot. I have been denied my loves, my dreams, my goals, and my innocence because of the sin in this world

BUT GOD . . .

He saw me, He saw me and He LOVED. me just as I was, a sinner . . . a victim. He waited for His perfect timing to rescue me so that I could in turn tell my story and share His promise of joy beyond pain. I am glad today, today I am whole, I am beautiful, I am a worshiper, I am a daughter, I am a missionary, I am a sister, I am a prayer warrior, I am a wife, I am a truth teller, I am not bitter, I am forgiven, I am motivated, I am saved, I am His BeLoved, and I am FREE!

I am free from the captivity of my past. My future is bright and all of this is only because my Savior is Jesus Christ and He had and has a plan and a purpose for me in His Kingdom work. My life belongs to Him, not to me, and not to anyone else but Him. Today I stand for Him, I speak for Him, I sing for Him, I write for Him, and I dance for Him. Jesus is the Lord almighty, and He is worthy to be praised!

Isaiah 42 “This is what God the LORD says— “The Creator of the heavens, who stretches them out, who spreads out the earth with all that springs from it, who gives breath to its people, and life to those who walk on it: 6 “I, the LORD, have called you in righteousness I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people and a light for the Gentiles, 7 to open eyes that are blind, to free captives from prison and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness 8 “I am the LORD; that is my name! I will not yield my glory to another or my praise to idols. 9 See, the former things have taken place, and new things I declare; before they spring into being I announce them to you.”

Psalm 126:5 “Those that sow in tears, shall reap in joy!”

John 8:36 “If the Son therefore has set you free, you are free indeed.”

 

-Lauren!<><+

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